It’s high time I lived up to my name
i think this may just be the greatest string of tweets in the history of mankind
TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I REMEMBER EVERYTHING BUT READING THESE TWEETS AGAIN AFTER SO MANY MONTHS IT ALMOST FEELS SURREAL LIKE “I CANT BELIEVE THIS PERSON IS ME”
EXCLUSIVE DILDO AUDIO TRACK FROM THEIR UPCOMING ALBUM, “7 FUCKING HOURS AND I’M TIRED AS HECKE”.
#Wall decals about bible verses will class up any kitchen #You should come to my Thirty-One party
I can’t stop. There are too many:
#I’m the best mom on this field trip and everyone knows it #Have you read Eat, Pray, Love? #Let’s get lattes after Zumba! #Gluten causes Autism #I will have him pulled out of your class #Oh shoot, I forgot I volunteered to bring brownies to faith group tonight #We don’t let him watch more than one hour of TV a day #Stick figure family window sticker #(whispers behind hand) you’ve got to read 50 Shades of Grey
Forgive me. I am a mother, and I walk among these women every day. I have adopted their ways as a form of camouflage.
ITS BACK AND IT GOT BETTER
The adorable moment when that’s his real life boyfriend.
OMFG I DID NOT KNOW THAT!! HOLY CRAP
That’s so cute
I hate this show but this is adorable.
And above we see one of the few non-slut-shaming bisexual jokes ever made in television history.
we have to put our trust in to bob’s burgers, people
Amsterdam is turning rainbow for a visit of the Russian president Putin. The council of the city of Amsterdam has decided to hang out the gay pride flag on all council owned buildings and offices, in protest to Russia’s new anti-gay law.
pretty sure Amsterdam is now the sass capital of the world
this is the actual best thing